Random Notions
by Amelle Kyre
Summary: "Yes Jane, because reasoning with the infant is clearly the best way to calm a wailing child." She could hear the amusement in Gunther's voice. A collection of shorts centered around our two favorite squires.
1. Snow

Hello! I am very happy that I finally have something to post for Jane and the Dragon

I actually have more than one chaptered story that I am hoping to get ready to post soon but in the mean time I decided to put this up in the meantime.

So this will be a series of one-shots that revolve around Jane and Gunther.

Each chapter will revolve around a word with the first one here being of course Snow

This first one is a little short but the others will hopefully be longer.

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** Snow **

She supposes that it must be the first time that she has admitted to herself that she finds him handsome.

The snow that falls around them makes a shocking contrast against his black hair, there is a warm redness to his well defined cheekbones, and he looks so, well... Grown up, she had not actively noticed this before. Today however, she has a very good vantage point and has been staring at him unabashed for a good amount of time without his knowledge. He is riding slightly ahead and to her left, so that she has a great view of his sharp profile but he would have to turn his head to get a good look at her.

He is distracted, she can tell he must be lost in his thoughts if he has yet to feel her gaze. She wonders what could possibly be running through his mind that he has that look of seriousness. Part of her longs to ask him that question but she knows that he is unlikely to answer with truth; not to mention that she dose not wish to brake him of his revere. She would much rather enjoy his countenance, silent and serious, against the brilliantly white snow, than hurling insults at her.

Because no matter how handsome he may have become, he will always be the beef brain who has no idea how get on with people and she will never be able to get past that. No his looks will not affect her in the least.

But when he turns suddenly and catches her staring she blushes furiously.

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Next word and title chapter is: **Teeth. **Hopefully up this Friday.

So what did you think? To short? Would you like to read some more? Anything that you would like to be written?

Any suggestions?

If you could review that would be super helpful!

Any all feed back is helpful, even just something short simple is always better than silence.


	2. Teeth

Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate them greatly.

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**Teeth **

It starts with giant gnashing teeth in his face and despite the frequentness, it always takes some time before he realizes that he being intimated by none other than Jane's very own, very large, and very dangerous green reptile.

Dragon seems beside himself and very willing to charcoal him, only Gunther does not understand why. He only knows that backing slowly up, (as he is currently doing) is clearly the wisest action. That is at least until his back hits what is most certainly a wall, and he can get no further away from the fuming beast.

"Dragon..." He tries to make his voice placating but he sure that he sounds frightened instead. Dragon's very large teeth still loom entirely to close to his face and Gunther has to wonder if the beast might get angry enough to just bite him half instead. The thought makes him slightly nauseous with dread.

"Listen short life, if you ever hurt Jane again your life will indeed be very, _very_ short." Dragon tells him this in a very low and deadly voice. In fact with his nostrils flared in anger Gunther can clearly see a faint glow emitting from them and wonders even he will even get the _possibility_ of ever doing anything to Jane again. But...? He has done nothing to her, nothing that he can remember. In fact, he has not so much as seen her today...

But when he looks up again it is not Dragon who stares him down in anger, it is Jane herself. The wild orange and red tangle of her hair is the perfect match to Dragon's flame. So it seems is her temper, she is here to tell him that he is vile, that he is worth nothing. Who would ever want to be his friend? Or wife? Or even employ him as a knight, surely the king would never keep Gunther if his father isn't paying the crown to do so. Gunther's heart pounds loudly and he finds any insults that could throw at her lodged in his throat, so that even breathing is more laborious than usual. Behind her, they seem like an overwhelming crowd, the entirety of the castle residents -Sir Theodore and Sir Ivon among them- add how much better Jane is at everything than him, that she always wins and always will. He tries to call out to tell them that Jane has an unfair advantage, that he does not care what they could possibly think. The words leave his mouth, but they carry little weight and ring untrue, even in his own ears; no matter how desperately he longs to believe them. They echo, bouncing around as if there is nowhere for them to be absorbed, as if he were alone.

Then his father is there. He is tall, taller than Gunther and seems to take up more space than Dragon had, in fact he obscures the others entirely. Magnus tells him how he will no longer squander his money on knights training for a son whose such a bitter disappointment, one who always losses to a girl. He isn't loud however, as the others were, his voice is soft and intense, and it cuts Gunther more deeply and sharply than all the yelling or if he had in fact be bitten in two. "You are useless, it is no wonder your mother left. She knew what you would be, even back then."

This is when Gunther losses it, he can never take more than that and he wakes up to find himself entangled in his bed sheets.

* * *

Next Chapter Title: **Accomplish**

Hopefully up on Monday...

Yeah, this one made me sad, I love Gunther! I swear I do! But this is just what happen to come out. I have a list of words and I am just running down the line I look at the word and just write whatever happens to come to mind.

I will take your suggestions if you have any into consideration though. I'll add them after whatever I have written already.

Please review! Even if you don't log in. A nice note.

I will try and just lead more in the Janther direction, I know that this didn't have much of that. But most likely the others will, because I love them so much!


	3. Accomplish (1)

Well this took longer than expected, but in the end here it is!

And I won't make excuses, but I was rather busy. That being said I do apologize for it being soo late.

This is a two-shot. The first part now and hopefully the second later this week or next Monday. (At least that's what am aiming at)

Disclaimer: I do not own Jane and the Dragon, All the characters and settings belong to the people Weta, and other places and people that I cannot recall at the moment. But I love them and all the characters and I am just happy to enjoy their company.

**Accomplish**

Jane has many things she means to accomplish in whatever amount of time she is given on this earth. Yet being a mother is not one of them.

She never wants a husband or children, and she knows this with a dead certainty because she has never been more uncomfortable in her entire life than standing here with Rake and Pepper's new baby daughter, Sage, held in her arms. Pepper had trust her into Jane's hands, and taken off running (something in the kitchen started to smell like burn) and Jane had been unable to tell her no.

The child fusses in her grasp, clearly as uncomfortable being held by Jane as Jane is holding her. Jane is not used to holding things gently, but she knows that no matter how much the child fusses and wiggles, (with an inborn strength that she is sure babies are not supposed to posses) she must hold her delicately for babies are also a fragile thing.

Jane stands in the hallway directly outside the kitchen where she can hear an obviously busy Pepper fuss about trying to fix whatever had been overcooking on the stove. Pepper has never been one to burn any sort of meal but trying to cook and dealing with the child could in no way be a simple task; Jane was having enough trouble just holding the baby. She was trying to sooth her in the absence of her mother and having no luck, so that the next thing she knew Sage began wailing with a rather unearthly cry.

Jane tried everything she could think of to placate screaming babe, she rocked her, patted her, shushed her (lightly), she even hummed her a song, but nothing soothed her.

"It's alright, there is no need to cry, Pepper will be right back I Promise." She continued to rock her back and forth as she spoke but the child did not heed her words.

"Yes Jane, because reasoning with the infant is clearly the best way to calm a wailing child." She could hear the amusement in Gunther's voice even in the midst of Sage's cries. Jane felt the color rise to her cheeks despite herself. If there was any way to make this moment worse adding Gunther to the equation, surely, was it. Of course Jane wasn't one to be beat and she turned to offer up a retort but was stopped short by Gunther's appearance.

Bouncing Sage softly seemed to be working because her loud cries had settled into still troubled, but softer noises of discontent. "What happened to you?" Jane tried and failed to keep the amusement out of her voice as she questioned Gunther. "Did you lose a match against one of Rake's prized trees?" For that is certainly what he looked like, he was clutching his upper arm with his right hand and the entire left side of his body was covered in dirt, not even his face was spared, there was a smear on his cheek right below his glaring eye. None of that compared to his hair, which mussed and completely out of place with several leaves and twigs sticking out in a haphazard manner; she was sure he was unaware of them.

The over all effect made him look ridiculous, and she could not hold her laughter anymore. Which of course roused the baby in her arms into more inconsolable wails.

"If you must know, your overly large green lizard tripped me with his tail and I fell into the Gardner's precious plants." Jane could picture perfectly what happened next. Gunther cursing and ranting trying to pick himself up, Dragon making up an excuse and quickly flying away up to his cave no doubt, and Rake would be making a big fuss about his plants (very much ignoring Gunther) and tending to them. "I got this," Gunther showed Jane the portion of his upper left arm that he had been covering, there was a large tare in the sleeve. As he stepped closer to her, she could see that it was stained with dirt and blood and a long gash was visible underneath. "Your mother is busy, with the Prince and Princess so I came to see if Pepper would help." He looked at her for a second more, Sage's cries passing between them. "You really ought to quite her down."

Jane rolled her eyes at him, "And what do you think I am trying to do?" She told him whilst attempting to calm her once more with the bouncing, which didn't seem to working this time around. Sage's cries echoed in the stone walls around them making them seem louder than they really were. "Pepper is busy in the kitchen that's why I am holding the baby, I highly doubt that she can spare the time to tend to your minor wound."

He narrowed his eyes at the word minor, and after a second asked her. "Well, what about you?" He quirked his eyebrow at her.

"What about me?" She was trying a swinging motion now that seemed to be working, slightly and not sparing Gunther her full attention.

"Can you bandage it?" He asked her, his eyebrow was dirty to she noted. She was going to tell him that she was to busy but looking up at him, she just couldn't say no.

* * *

To be continued...

So the second part is coming later...

And of course this is just what came out when I looked at the word **Accomplish... **

So thoughts? Questions? Suggestions? Wanna be berate me for taking to long?

Please review! Let me know what you think, should I even put the second part or just go to the next?


	4. Accomplish (2)

Phew... almost 3000 words...

This took awhile huh?

I want to thank all you for reading this and most of all for your reviews, your thoughts are my favorite things to read.

Your reviews, favorites, and follows are all what makes me keep going, so thank you!

SO I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Accomplished Continued **

It was the hair that got her.

He looked so unlike his regular self with it going every which way that she relented and the three of them. Gunther and Jane holding baby Sage made their way to a small room near the kitchen where they kept bandages, saves, dried herbs, and other medical necessities.

"We are going to have to wash it first," Jane said once they were inside. "It is covered in dirt and we need to get that off before I can bandage it." She made her way to a jug and a tin on the long table that was at the far end of the room and checked the water jug, luckily it was still full of clean water. "This will probably be easiest if you sit on the table." Jane waited while he settled down beside her. "Here," She attempted to hand him the baby but he leaned back looking more scared than the time Dragon threatened to charcoal him for having accidently smacked Jane in the face and splitting her bottom lip during one of their more aggressive sparing sessions. Dragon had lost it at sight of Jane's blood and she had to literally stand between them and send Dragon away. Gunther had apologized and actually been kind enough to get her some water and something cold to press against her lip to help with the swelling. After that Jane spent a good amount of time keeping Dragon away from Gunther until the big frog's anger had quelled. _She_ hadn't been angry at Gunther but at herself for missing the block and allowing the blow to land. If it had been a real sword her face would have been split for real, and while it healed the cut had been a good reminder that she needed to work harder, in the field you did not get second chances.

"No." He responded shaking his head so vigorously that one of the twigs dislodged itself from his hair, rolled down his chest and landed on his lap. They both looked at it for a second, Jane snapping out of her reverie while Gunther, looking slightly alarmed, quickly ran his hands into his hair finding the other twigs and raining dirt down his back. "Can't you just set her down on the table, there." He motioned to the other side of the table with what appeared to be a sprig of rosemary he had withdrawn from his hair.

"I cannot help you if I have to carry the baby and I am most certainly not going to set her on the table." She glared at him daring him to mention the table idea again noticing that he had missed a leaf that still clung to the left side of his head and decided that he did not deserve to know this.

Under her scrutinizing gaze he relented quickly with a rather meek, "Alright." Jane made to hand him the baby once again as Gunther, looking deeply uncertain reached for the bundle of blankets in her arms. "But, what if she starts crying again." For Sage had been still fussy but mostly quiet, at least nothing like the loud screams that had echoed in the hall.

"Just hold her gently," Jane found herself very close to Gunther, as she placed the baby in his right arm, noting that he smelled of rich earth, plants, and something else that was purely his. She leaned back away from him as soon as Sage was secure in his arms but was annoyed to find the tone and speed of her voice was nonetheless affected by his proximity. "And just bounce or sway her lightly, she seems to like that." Jane told him speaking more quickly than she ought as she moved away to search for what she needed, glad that Gunther had the more pressing matter of holding the baby to pay attention to Jane's behavior. For Sage had not cried when he had taken ahold of her, just stared inquisitively up at him with her big brown eyes, and it seemed that he was determined to keep that way by not moving, at all; in fact it looked as if was trying not to so much as breath.

Hiding a smile at how tense he looked she turned back to the task at hand. On a shelf near the door she found the brown liquid that they used for cuts, it stung like crazy and was more likely to bring tears to your eyes than the cut itself, but it was essential to keep the wound from becoming infected. In the drawers underneath she found a bandage and a small knife.

Trying to commit the uncomfortable look of Gunther holding Sage to memory, Jane made her way back grabbing a small clean cloth from another table as she passed. "I am going to have to cut this," Jane told him grabbing hold of the torn sleeve. He gave her a vague "Yes." He was distracted leaning up and away from the baby's reaching hands as she tried and failed to get ahold of his face.

Jane widened the hole in his sleeve until she could see the entirety of the cut, a good three inches and jagged, dirt and blood mixed and caked against his skin. She placed the tin below his arm and poured the water over it, it ran in rivulets down his arm taking some of the dirt with it, but not enough. She took the cloth and was about to begin cleaning the wound-

"Ow!" Gunther exclaimed recoiling slightly. "Stop that."

"Really? I haven't even started yet." Jane responded looking up in exasperation.

"Not you," Gunther barked back, and Jane could plainly see why, Sage had managed to grab a fistful of Gunther's hair.

The only thing that he could do was lower her, but pulling Sage down only proved counterproductive for she would simply not let go. In fact the more Gunther tried or complained the more delighted laughter that filled the room. Jane could not suppress her own laughter this time having never heard the babe laugh before or Gunther look more lost on what to do.

Finally the leaf that Jane had noticed in Gunther's hair earlier came floating down and landed on Sage's tiny chest and with another great peal of laughter she scoped it up and began gnawing it fruitlessly, letting go of Gunther's hair in the process. Jane tried to straiten up her face and continued the task at hand, which she had nearly forgotten she was supposed to be doing.

Gunther none too amused by the situation just glowered at Jane and flinched occasionally while she removed the dirt from his cut. Sage continued her full mouthed assault on the leaf making no headway because of her lack of teeth. This however seemed to amuse her all the more because every time she looked at the still whole, but rapidly mulched up leaf, she would subside into more ridiculous giggles. Which of course meant that Jane could not keep a straight face even while Gunther stared her down, in fact Sage's giggles juxtaposed with Gunther's anger just made her want to laugh all the more anytime she looked up at either of them; which of course did nothing to endear her to him.

"Well, you two do have some things in common," Gunther spoke up when Jane was finish cleaning the cut and was just wiping away the excess water. "You are both highly enjoying my pain."

"I am not." Jane told him crossing her arms in annoyance forgetting that she was holding the wet cloth until the entirety of her left elbow was soaked.

"Then why do you keep laughing?" He raised an eyebrow at her as if he had caught her in some kind of terrible lie.

"I was not laughing at your pain." Jane assured him as she set the wet cloth on the tin and took up the bottle of brown liquid. "It's just Sage, you seem so terrified by her and she seems to like you very much." She looked down at Sage whom was waving around the chewed up leaf leaving a long green stain on Gunther's side.

"I am not terrified," He told her sounding quite affronted. "I just don't like babies, no matter how much they happen to like me back." He bounced Sage lightly as he said this, and she just stared up at him and smiled having no idea what he was saying. "This is the last time I will, hopefully, ever hold you, but that is alright if you ever get bored you can pull Jane's hair, I am sure it is very springy and it is the color of an overcooked carrot."

Jane just sighed ignoring his obnoxious comments as she measured the correct amount of liquid that would be needed.

"Oh wait," Gunther continued, this time speaking to Jane. "She doesn't like you at all. Well, she has good taste I'll give her that."

"I think it's just that you happen to smell like Rake." Jane knew better than to let his abrasive comments get to her. "You know dirt and foliage. That is the only conceivable reason why she would enjoy _your_ presence" But just because she knew she should not let them get to her did not mean she would not retaliate.

"Right." Gunther's smirked at her knowing he had succeeded in getting a rise out of her. "While you only happen to smell like dirt, smoke, and sweat."

Jane did not answer back this time, in fact she did not speak at all not even to warn him when she poured the liquid over Gunther's exposed wound.

His eyes widened and he turned his head sideways sucking air through his teeth with a sound that was remarkably reminiscent of a hissing cat, the muscles in his injured arm tensing and working, and then he swore brightly and loudly.

"Right in front of a Lady and a child. What would sir Theodore say? That was very unknightly of you Gunther."

"Lady? You?" He snorted, his breath coming quickly in short starts, clearly still working through the pain "Besides Sage is still a baby, doesn't know what I am saying and cannot talk yet. I am certain _she_ can keep my secret."

"You really ought to learn not to insult the people who are helping you, it might make them less inclined to _finish_." Jane held up the bandages letting him know that he was at a disadvantage here.

"Come now Jane," His voice changing from one of annoyed superiority to a more placating tone. "Is me saying that your not a Lady really all that insulting? You refused the life of a lady-in-waiting and choose the one of a knight. Of course now you are only stuck somewhere in between." He looked at her expectantly but Jane said nothing, just crossed her arms a second time the bandages still firmly grasped in her hand. Clearly she was unimpressed with his reasoning and lack of apology.

_"_Jane..."

_"Lady _Jane...?"

_"Sir_ Jane."

"Sir Lady Knight Jane Turnkey, baby Sage requests that you please finish, she likes me too much to risk losing me to a horrible infection." He held the baby up so Jane could get a better look at her, she had finally dropped the chewed leaf onto the floor where it sat in a very messy pile.

Jane relented, realizing that this was probably the best she could hope for from Gunther whom certainly would prefer a horrible infection to apologizing to her. She finished bandaging his arm while enduring the aggravating smirk he wore the entire time, which she only did because this time he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"We need to take her back to Pepper." Jane told Gunther as she shut the door to the room behind them and they made their way down the corridor. She had tried to take Sage back as soon as she was done with his arm but no sooner had Sage found herself out of Gunther's grasp than she began to whale inconsolably again. She had only stopped once Gunther had taken her again.

"You have truly terrible taste Sage, Gunther is an insufferable beef-brain."

"It's been awhile since you called me that." He didn't look at her as he spoke and she could tell that he was using all his concentration to walk carefully while holding the baby in both arms. You really did not want to fall whilst holding a child.

"Doesn't make it any less true, besides unlike you I did not want to curse in front of her."

"Yes of course because, you are a proper lady, you do not curse in front of infants. You only curse in private or when you think I really deserve it."

"Finally caught up, have you?"

He just shook his head at her like he disapproved but she could tell that he was fighting the urge to laugh. She looked into the kitchen where Pepper was busy stirring, tasting, and adding ingredients to a big pot of stew. The young cook shouted out without so much as looking up. "Just a few more minutes Jane, I almost have this under control."

"We will be out here Pepper." Jane assured her, and when her friend did not answer back she closed the door once more to let Pepper do her work without more interruptions.

Gunther was leaning back against the wall looking grumpy and she could tell the complaint was coming even before he opened his mouth. "So now I have to wait here for the cook to be done so I can give her back her child. Since when did I become the child sitter? I have things to do you know, if only _you_ were not so child repellent then you could wait here with her." Jane was used to his childish tirades so she just leaned back against the opposite wall in the corridor and waited for him to finish.

"You have no idea how to act around women and children, do you? Basic knight skills..." She spoke up once he was done letting her thoughts flow into words. "What will you do with your own wife and child?"

"I don't want children." His face was stoic as he stared at a faraway piece of wall and there was something rather dark in the way he spoke that took Jane aback, she had never seen him look or act in that manner. It was a bit intimidating and she spoke again just to break the tense silence.

"Neither do I," It came out in a whisper but it was enough to snap him out of whatever dark place his thoughts had carried him. "I am never getting married."

They looked at each other for a moment in the strange silence. Until Gunther broke it shifting his eyes away, "I do not want to imagine the poor man they would try to marry you to. The least you would do is make _him_ wear the white dress." He cracked a smile, making Jane realized not only how fast he switched his emotions but also how hard it was to not laugh at a moment like this.

She failed miserably, the thought of some faceless man in a flowered white gown that she would not be caught dead in was enough that they both burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh after that strangely tense moment between them and for Jane to find herself laughing _with_ Gunther, it just made the moment all the more odd; which made everything that much funnier.

Once they got started it was difficult to stop, Jane even thought she heard Sage giggling again but it was difficult to verify through with both their laughter echoing in the hall as Sage's cries had done not half an hour before. Meaning of course that both failed to notice Pepper walking out of the kitchen door until she spoke up.

"My, you two are sure getting on well." She told them in her sweetest voice and a big smile on her face.

It seemed to sober them both quickly, coughing in their abruptness to stop laughing, in fact neither of them would remember why it had seemed so funny in that moment.

"Pepper," Gunther said walking over quickly. "Here you go." He handed Sage back to her mother this time the babe did not protest leaving his company.

Pepper held Sage comfortably as only a mother could, Jane was sure she would be curious to know why it was Gunther holding her child but that is not what was on her mind.

"What happened to you?" She asked indicating the bandage around his arm.

"I... uh, I fell."

"Oh, well I hope you heal quickly. Thank you both for taking Sage." And with that Jane and Gunther were alone again, this time without the baby.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Pepper inside the kitchen stood by the door, just as she had before going out to retrieve her child, she could hear every word the two squires outside spoke to each other. She heard Gunther thank Jane for helping bandage his arm and his footsteps leaving before Jane got to say so much as 'you are welcome'. A few moments later Jane's own footsteps went in the opposite direction.

"Those two are so strange," Pepper spoke to Sage as she went to lay her in the bassinet. "Those two make quite a pair, both believe they are so different from each other and in reality they are quite similar. They both seem to want to accomplish the same things." And she was sure that if her child could talk, she would whole heartedly agree.

* * *

So getting this up took awhile,

when I was almost done it got erased of my computer cause I had to do something and it went to sleep and when I opened it again almost everything was gone and I had to rewrite it.

Then when I was going to upload last week all the editing I did, undid as well so yeah...

I just wanted to say that it was guys that made me keep going and rewrite and reedit,

So thank you for reading and please, please review let me know what you think!


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